Financial Information
HELP Depressed about my marriage, should I leave?
Question : HELP Depressed about my marriage, should I leave?
Ok, I am having a small midlife crises. I am going to be 30 in a few months and I have realized that I have basically wasted all my 20′s doing a bunch of nothing. I have been with my husband for 6 years and we have 3 kids. The problem is we have hit a road where we do not see eye to eye on a lot of major subjects. We barely make ends meet and we have $ 30,000 in debt. We both work full time, but the cost of life has caught up on us. Daycare, car repairs. So I decided that we cant go down like the titanic, I’ve been looking for part time work and have been unsucessful for a year straight. I am so desperate to get ahead I’ve been applying at bikini bars.
Problem is husband is ok with the way we live. He thinks I am selfish. I am tired of living of of credit cards. And finally decided to go back to school because I can move up in my job. Even if I have to move into a 1 bedroom for a while. I am willing to sacrafice. He doesnt want to do this, doesnt want me to go to schoo. His answer is to wait on the Lord. He reads his christian books and plays xbox. Hes a great father and great sexual partner. Just dont have any goals and is comfy with the way we live.
I am DESPERATE to get out of this situation. I’ve talked to him time and time and his only answer is to trust the Lord. In the meanwhile we are getting more and more in debt. And I am really starting not to want to go to church with him.
When I first got with him, I didnt have any goals and love to party. I grew up and things are not the same. He doesnt want to change and I dont want to go to counseling with him. What do you think ??
Um no I dont want to party. I want to go to school and have a future for my kids. And I did raise my kids and I Love them. I just mean I wasted my youth partying instead of getting my education or a skill. WOW
christian credit card counseling
Best answer:
Answer by Cheesebrady
first off, you did not “waste” your twenties doing “nothing”. you were raising a family. how can you say that was nothing?
second of all, your husband sounds like a good guy. you said yourself he is a good husband and a good father. the problem here is that you are bored and miss your single, carefree lifestyle and want to run away from your debt and your commitments. you wont even go to counseling with him?
i think i agree with your husband, you are being very selfish.
-
-
#2 written by GinGiNF24 1 year ago
you tell him” i trust the lord and the lord is telling me to go to school to be a better wife mother and person” . so ask him what does the lord tell you to do ? tell him its not fair for you . ask him ,what if one day something happens to you ? how will i give our children what they need? you are young and deserv to better your self through school
-
#3 written by iph 1 year ago
he should see the facts of the real life! trust the lord without doing nothing??? you should do something and then believe it’s going to be ok!! but he’s right on his side, he doesnt see a problem with that lifestyle… you should tell your concerns about the future and prove you’re rational.
3 kids before 30 is a mistake.. you should have been financially ok to have kids.. i think you should go back to school, in longterm you’ll be financially better
-
#4 written by catworkbefoul 1 year ago
Well one of the things that you pointed out is he’s a good father, and that’s hard to find these days. Another thing it’s good that he believe in the lord and all but you have to help your self nothing is handed 2 you. 30,000 is not a lot of debt at all. And to me it seems that your husband is not the only one with the problem.
- Comment Feed for this Post
You should think long and hard before you decide to up and leave. Yes, you should trust in the Lord for things to come through but the Lord also gives you opportunities to take in order to make a break through. I understand the 20s ordeal, you could have been doing something productive that you wouldn’t even have to worry about now, such as go to school. But what’s done is done and those kids of yours are a blessing and so is your responsible husband. If he can’t understand that you don’t want to struggle, then you should just break it down to him even further. If that’s what you truly need to do in order to live more comfortably then you do it. He’s not doing the work, you are. Even if you have to take online courses without his approval, what happens in the long run is what matters. I wish you much luck in this and send blessings your way!!!