Financial Information
I have 5 sentences that I feel need to be re-worded. There are too many “and” & “commas”?
Question : I have 5 sentences that I feel need to be re-worded. There are too many “and” & “commas”?
Can someone please redo these sentences for me in the correct grammer and sentence phrasin please….THANK YOU.
Managed operational audits and took responsibility for staff preparation and development.
Responsible for the assessment and management of business and risk, made recommendations on improving internal controls and provided bottom-line oriented solutions.
Processed financial transactions, performed special projects and responded to data request from other departments.
Responsible for general accounting functions, completion and maintenance of general ledgers, financial reports, payroll and accounts payable processing and review.
Worked with management to ensure a system is in place, which ensured that all risks are identified and analyzed on an annual basis.
accounts payable audit
Best answer:
Answer by undefined624
lol, so you want someone to rewrite your resume?
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#2 written by Heather 1 year ago
The main problem is that these sentences are what is called an incomplete sentence because it lacks a subject.
You need a pronoun or the object/person/subject that you are talking about in the sentence. You could try listing all the things they do with commas, or if the list gets too long you could say they also… and so on.
Try to use a definite or indefinite article (a, an, the). I only saw 3 articles.
Who/what managed the operational audits and took responsibility for the staff preparation and development?
Who/what was responsible for the assessment and management of business and risk?
Who/what made recommendations on improving the internal controls and provided bottom-line oriented solutions?As for conjunctions (and, or, but) you only need to use a comma if you are listing more than 2 things.
Good luck!
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#3 written by N 1 year ago
You seem to have these in point form which is fine bcause this looks like a reume. I took out the ands but left it for the most part in sentence fragments for quick rapid delivery. Over all I think what you had sounded pretty good.
Managed operational audits while taking responsibility of staff preparation and development.
Responsible for the assessment and management of business and risk.
Made recommendations on improving internal controls.
Provided bottom-line oriented solutions.Processed financial transactions,
Performed special projects.
Responded to data request from other departments.Responsible for general accounting functions,
Completed and maintained general ledgers,
Oversaw financial reports, payroll and accounts payable processing and review.Worked with management to ensure effective systems were in place to ensure all risks were identified and analyzed on an annual basis.
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#4 written by aida 1 year ago
I really don’t think you need to change any of them except may the fourth, and the little that I’d do ot it is add one more comma and change the last few words for clarification!
Responsible for general accounting functions, completion and maintenance of general ledgers, financial reports, payroll, and processing and review of accounts payable
I suppose if you wanted to put it in semi-outline form, with bullets rather than numbers or letters, you could make it even terser and indent the specific tasks or responsibilities in each category, ut I lie it better as it is.
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Because this is a resume for a person in finance, you might want to post it in the Business and Finance forum where people familiar with the jargon might be lurking. I know English but would break out in hives if I found myself in a finance department, so I limit my comments to these:
Use semi colons between different functions and delete “and.” Use active verbs where possible. If you’re American, I think it should be “staff training” and not “preparation.” Is the correct phrase “business and risk” or something else? If everything in the item beginning “Responsible for general accounting” is a different task, make it: Performed general accounting functions; completed and maintained general ledgers; prepared financial reports; processed and reviewed payroll and accounts payable. If those tasks are what you mean by general accounting functions, put a colon, not a semi colon, after “functions.” “Worked with management to ensure a system was in place to identify and analyze all risks on an annual basis.”